


First Times

by notdavestrider



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Canon Universe, Cute, Falling In Love, Fluff, Getting Together, Happy, Happy Ending, Love, M/M, Romance, Sappy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-02
Updated: 2016-08-28
Packaged: 2018-07-28 20:36:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 17,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7655824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notdavestrider/pseuds/notdavestrider
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"During the trip in the meteor Dave and Karkat discover and talk about their feelings and (slowly) go through five important first times in a relationship as they fall in love".</p><p>Filling some blanks from the canon for the sake of fluff. Not advised to read if you haven't finished Homestuck, spoilers might be included.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally a one-shot that evolved into a mini-fic with a different theme per chapter. It's still a story I'm working on but I've been meaning to share this for several months and since I haven't been able to get in touch with my old beta-reader I decided to say fuck it and just try it.
> 
> This is my first time using this site though, so I hope I can get some feedback too. I haven't published anything in several years and this is my first Homestuck fic I let anyone other than my friends read. I must admit it makes me a little nervous lol.
> 
> There might be some nsfw eventually but it'll be pretty vanilla because I need the sap.
> 
> Anyway. I have planned seven chapters for this story and they all have names and a theme ready. This takes place after John and Terezi's timeline fixing, when Vriska is already in the meteor. Hope you enjoy.

**The First Time He Told Me**

 

     Unnerving.

 

    That was probably the best way to describe him. Dave Strider was certainly nothing but unnerving to him. In fact, he had thought of Strider as unnerving probably even before they were friends, but now it had just gotten a tad worse.

 

    The thing about Dave was that he was a simple guy. He liked his beats, he liked his apple juice, and he didn’t like puppets. That was about it. His sense of humor sure was buried under layers and layers of irony that were hard to decipher sometimes, but he was never enigmatic about how he felt about other people. He either liked you or he didn’t. He either talked your ear off or minded his business while you were around.

 

     One would think that, being such a chill dude, it would be easy for people around him to understand him. But lately all Karkat did was not understand him at all. He was like a completely different person compared to the infuriating Knight of Time he used to hate.

 

    They had been stranded in that meteor for two years now, and after some silly confrontations during the first half of the sweep, both Dave and Karkat had figured out most of their issues and became very good friends. Since Vriska and Terezi had started a very strong moirallegiance, Rose and Kanaya had been able to spend more time alone, thus leaving the two males by themselves with the Mayor.

 

    And the Mayor, with his silent and friendly demeanor, had somehow helped the two become closer. The two alien teenagers started hanging out and _sharing_ their favorite pretend-government-official, and eventually began spending time with each other just for fun.

 

    Knowing the way their friendship had flourished, it would be understandable to be confused about Karkat still thinking of Dave as unnerving. But keeping in mind the way Dave had been acting in recent months, things did start looking a little odd.

 

    The first weird thing Karkat truly noticed was the random staring.

 

    It was a brand new day like almost any normal day in the meteor. The Can Town ambassadors and their Mayor were hanging out in one of the small chambers they had acclimated for watching movies and playing board games.

 

     Karkat was sitting on a purple bean couch while reading a book to the Mayor, who was listening to him while drawing in a little notepad. Dave was sitting on the couch they always used to watch movies, but he had his headphones on and his computer resting on his lap.

 

    Nothing out of the ordinary.

 

    Except, until Karkat absently raised his gaze while turning the page and found Dave looking at him quietly from the other side of the room. He didn’t think much about it and went back to his reading, but when the time to turn the next page had come, his eyes found Strider’s still nailed on him like fishing hooks. His stare was so forward that not even his shades could hide it.

 

    “Is there something wrong?” He dared to ask, unable to disimulate his puzzled expression. The Mayor looked up from his notepad.

 

    As if an enchantment had been broken, Dave flinched when he heard his voice. He then proceeded to awkwardly change his position on the couch, leaning back some and putting his legs up over some cushions.

 

    “Sorry, I was spacing the fuck out.” he simply said before going back to whatever he was doing on his laptop.

 

     Karkat didn’t say anything and went back to his reading as well, but he couldn’t help wondering why on alternia Dave was using headphones if he was clearly not listening to music. After all, if he had been, he couldn’t have possibly heard Karkat from where he was sitting without removing his headphones. That could only mean that Strider was pretending to do other things while he was actually just looking at Karkat for no apparent reason, but Karkat wouldn’t be able to put that together until much later.

    

     The random staring didn’t stop there, and it would continue happening along with other strange events. Actually, some of those events had occurred before in different instances of their trip through the furthest ring, but while back then they seemed to be sporadic weird happenstances, now they looked more like an agenda.

 

     Just to name a few, Dave had gone from having breakfast in the common room alone and waiting for the rest to come out, to waiting outside of Karkat’s room so they could head there together. He had also stopped falling asleep during Karkat’s movies and even asked him questions about them as if he actually wanted to hear more about the topic.

 

     None of those things were bad, evidently. Karkat really appreciated Dave’s gestures, but they still made him feel completely out of place. And what he probably found to be the most unnerving thing, was that Dave suddenly had become extremely considerate. When in the past he had done his best to aggravate him as much as possible just for fun, now he was constantly doing things to keep him content. He always let him choose first, he never joked or rapped about things that made him uncomfortable anymore, he would drop an argument if Karkat insisted enough, and one or two times he shared his apple juice with him without making a fuzz about it.

 

     Clearly, there was something going on. Karkat couldn’t help but think about it almost every day, but he didn’t know if he was even supposed to point it out. Was Dave doing it on purpose, or was it completely unintentional? Were these his usual displays of friendship, or was he trying to get a point across?

 

     Whatever the case, it wasn’t until a couple months later that he found a good reason to mention it. Although it wasn’t a thing he had planned ahead.

 

    During one of their many hours of being brutally bored, everyone in the meteor who wasn’t a juggalo had agreed on playing one of Vriska’s made-up games to pass the time. Probably not their wisest decision to begin with.

 

    The rules were confusing and plenty, not to mention Vriska seemed to be the only one who knew how to play it on the first place; even Rose had been struggling trying to follow the instructions at times, giving the impression that Serket was making shit up as they played.

 

    The game so far had been mostly just scribbling things with chalk on the ground and running around a lot, but sometimes they would be randomly penalized for things they didn’t know were illegal, so they had opted to let Vriska dictate the next step each time and assuming that was what they were meant to do.

 

    In that exact point of the game, all the females and the Mayor were settled in their own base waiting for their turn, but Karkat and Dave were standing at the beginning of the “board”, which was the main entrance to the room. They had both recently “died” and had to start over again from the beginning. It was now Karkat’s turn.

 

    “Okay Karkat, now throw the dice!” Vriska was saying enthusiastically, standing on top of her base, the common room’s table. “Remember! If you get an even number again you must take out one of your remaining monsters and run towards the closest base as fast as you can. If you don’t, the floor will literally turn into lava!”

 

    “Can you stop saying that we will LITERALLY die in all these fucked up ways when we are playing a stupid pretend game based mostly on your twisted imagination?” Karkat complained, but threw the dice anyway. “I mean I guess our imaginations should be part of it too, but we are too busy trying to wrap our thinkpans around the basic rules to actually-”

 

   “You got the six, Karkat! Better start fucking drawing!”

 

   “GODDAMMIT”

 

    Terezi, currently sitting on her base made of a scalemate pile, cackled loudly as Karkat kneeled down and drew a big monster with pincers and spikes as fast as he could. He then ran towards one of the chairs placed in the middle of the room, and quickly jumped to get on it.

 

    Unfortunately, the impulse he had used to hop onto the piece of furniture was a little excessive for the job. When Karkat grabbed onto the chair’s backrest, his own weight pushed the ass-placing instrument and made it fall back, taking him down with it. There was a scream followed by the loud noise the chair made when it hit the floor, and then an eerie silence.

 

    When Karkat realized he remained unharmed, he decided to open his eyes. He was confused when he found Dave looking at him from above, but as the realization of what had just happened started pouring down on him, his face lighted up with red. Dave was flying, or more exactly, floating in the middle of the room while carrying him damsel-in-distress style.

 

    “No god tier powers allowed, Dave!” Vriska yelled annoyed. “What the fuck are you doing?? This isn’t a co-op game! You aren’t supposed to help him!”

 

     “Vriska shut the fuck up for a goddamn second.” Dave snapped. He was clearly frustrated by her constant badgering, but he also seemed abnormally angry at the situation “Your game is idiotic enough without people getting seriously fucking hurt. There should be at least one rule that allows us to help avoiding accidents.”

 

     Dave landed slowly and placed Karkat on the ground. Still with his amber eyes wide-open in shock, Karkat hadn’t been able to say a word, but once Dave answered back with such tone of voice, the crimson red on Karkat’s face started to fade.

 

    “I agree.” this time it was Kanaya speaking, from the couch she was standing on. “If Karkat were to hurt himself during his turn the whole game would have to be stopped. I presume you wouldn’t want us to stop playing completely because of an emergency.”

 

    “Ugh. FINE.” the spidertroll scoffed. “Helping other players is allowed AS LONG AS it is to secure their safety. BUT ONLY THEN. There! Happy??”

 

   “Sure. But I’m not playing anymore.”

 

    “What??”

 

     Karkat couldn’t help noticing Dave was still acting a little weird.

 

    “Yeah, this game is fucking stupid. I’m out.” Strider simply said shoving his hands in his pockets and turning around.

 

    “You can’t just leave in the middle of a session!”

 

     “Just did.” and without looking back, he exited the common room.

 

      “UGH. See, Terezi??” Vriska looked at her moirail. “I told you we shouldn’t allow wigglers into the game!”

 

     Having both Karkat almost dying and Dave bailing on them had ruined the mood set to keep playing, so it didn’t take long before Vriska herself decided to interrupt the session. But even hours later, Karkat was still thinking about that moment. It was weird. He didn’t know what Dave had exactly done in order to save him from breaking his head in two, but something was telling him it probably wasn’t just floaty powers they were talking about. He also seemed pretty pissed off, as if Karkat had actually gotten hurt and Vriska didn’t care. That sprouted a theory in his head, and he couldn’t help wanting to prove it..

 

     A couple hours after they all had gone back to their regular agendas, Karkat headed to Dave's bedroom and knocked on the door. Almost immediately after, he could hear a muffled “Sup’ Karkat” coming from inside.

 

     “How do you even know it’s me?” Karkat inquired failing to hide his surprise as he walked in.

 

     “You always knock twice.” Dave shrugged without turning around. He seemed to be in the middle of organizing his room. He was standing before the bed while trying to figure out how or where to put away all the things he had on it a moment ago, but he didn’t seem to find a suitable place since he kept on looking around while holding a bunch of clothes, alchemizing punch cards, and some terrible magazines in his arms. “Kanaya and Rose knock several times, and the others either don’t knock at all or just never come to my room.”

 

     “Right.” He made his best to try to ignore Dave pulling up the covers a little and hiding his stash of Strider mess under the bed. “Anyway. I wanted to ask you something.” He could criticize his shameful and gross ways of living later.

 

     “Sure. Fire away.” the blond kid turned around and dropped on the edge of the bed. He patted the spot next to him but Karkat pretended not to notice.

 

     “During Vriska’s stupid game…”

 

     “You mean when I saved your horns from disappearing completely into your skull?”

 

     “Yeah. Exactly then.” he paused for a second. It was hard to bring the subject up without making it sound like a big deal. “I was just… wondering…”

 

     “...yeah?” a pair of eyebrows showed up arching above the shades.

 

     “Did you use your time powers for that? I mean, did you actually go back in time to help me or are your flying powers that fast and I was just not aware of it because I’m not a stupid godtier?”

 

     Karkat couldn’t appreciate it because of the glasses, but Dave remained quiet and blinked a couple times in a state of total confusion.

 

     “Is that what you wanted to ask me?” he finally said. Karkat just nodded, unconsciously closing his hands into fists. Dave seemed bothered; he had crossed his arms. “Well, yeah. I actually saw myself save you from eating shit and instantly had to go back and get ready to catch you. What’s the problem with that?”

 

     “But you told me you didn’t want to use your time powers again!” Karkat finally blurted out without hiding both his surprise and concern. “You even said going back in time while we were in the meteor was probably dangerous because the furthest ring has its own weird rules about time and space! Weren’t you worried about more doomed timelines?”

 

     “Well. It is probably dangerous. I’m not even sure. Rose knows more about the dark oblivion void shit.” his voice was soft, but his arms remained folded in a defensive manner. “Look man, I’m sorry I helped you that one time, I wasn’t thinking much about my stupid personal traumas with time traveling. I just reacted out of instinct.”

 

     “That’s not-” Karkat stopped mid-sentence and groaned into his hand. He had now realized his tone of voice had been a tad accusatory the whole time. “Nevermind, this is fucking stupid.” he took a deep breath and then went back to looking at Dave sitting before him. “I don’t want to make it sound like I’m complaining, I’m sorry.”

 

     Dave’s body relaxed. “Then what’s the problem?”

 

     Technically speaking, the problem was Karkat had asked himself that same question over and over since Dave had left the common room earlier that day. Why did it bother him so much? Why was the idea of Dave risking his life to help him in such a mundane situation so anxiety-inducing to him?

 

     He quietly decided to sit down next to his friend and grab onto his own knees a little harder than necessary. He had a lot of conflicting feelings blending inside of him, but the most asphyxiating one was the void in the pit of his stomach caused by not knowing what he actually wanted to feel on the first place. Was this a good thing? Should he be happy? Or was it a horrible thing he shouldn’t bring up if he valued their friendship?

 

     “Dave, you… you have changed.” he managed to say, staring at his knees intensively. “I didn’t even realize when you started doing it, but you really have.”

 

     “Well, I hope so.” he finally unfolded his arms and placed both his palms on the bed so he could lean back a little. “I used to be a very naive and stupid kid, being one hundred percent honest with you.”

 

     “I don’t mean it like that.” he shaked his head no, and a numbing feeling started taking over his body. He could feel the inevitable approaching. “We all have changed, but you have mostly done it when you are with me.”

 

     Dave looked at him, but surprisingly chose not to say anything. Karkat assumed he already knew where the conversation was heading as well. He didn’t dare return the gaze, and he felt the imminent embarrassment and awkwardness crawling up his back. He took a deep breath.

 

     “I don’t know how to even start talking about this, it feels so fucking dumb.” Karkat admitted, aware that his cheeks were getting warmer again. “I know we are friends, and that we are closer to each other than we are with the rest of our friends in here… but sometimes I feel like you might care more than just that.” a pause, followed by his hand anxiously running through his hair. “What I’m about to say might sound pretentious and like I’m full of myself, but just... bear with me for a fucking second, okay?” he clearly wasn’t waiting for an answer. “I think that our friendship has evolved somehow, and that for some ridiculously twisted reason you might have actually started developing stronger feelings for me. The red kind, I mean. Which I guess would somehow make sense because of how close we’ve become?? But even though I consider myself an expert in the intellectual art of romance, I must admit I’m still bewildered by the mere possibility. It still doesn’t make sense to me for some reason. And I can’t tell if you are waxing pale or flushed here because displays of affection can be weird like that, and it’s really getting under my skin now. I would’ve expected you to do or say something about it already, but you haven’t. You are just… hanging out with me like any other day, as if you didn’t know or you didn’t care about it. Am I completely off here? Have I seriously become so pathetic and self-centered that now I hallucinate red-natured advances towards me when you are just being a good fucking friend? Or am I actually right but you just didn’t feel like telling me for whatever asinine reason??

 

      When he finally stopped to breathe, he felt as if a weight had left his chest. It didn’t save him from all the blood that had clogged his face in an embarrassing spectacle he didn’t even want to acknowledge, but at least he felt lighter now. Even if looking at Dave was still utterly impossible to him.

 

     Luckily, he didn’t seem to mind.

 

    “Sweet jesus, Karkat.” he muttered in disbelief. “I mean, wow. I knew you were going to have an outburst like that eventually but I guess nothing could really prepare me for the real thing.” Karkat just clawed onto his knees harder. “Don’t get me wrong, it’s fucking adorable. I just didn’t expect you to be so troubled by it.”

 

     “Don’t fucking patronize me when I’m trying to have a fucking real as shit conversation with you.” Karkat warned him, trying to control his temper.

 

     “Not at all. It’s real as shit alright.” and even though Karkat couldn’t see, he heard the smile in his voice. “The short answer to all of this would be, yes.”

 

     Karkat perked his ears and straightened his posture without realizing. It took him a few seconds to gain enough courage to do it, but he also managed to turn his head and look at Dave sitting next to him. He found the smile he had heard a moment ago now faintly resting on his lips.

 

     “What the fuck is 'yes' supposed to mean here?” he snapped incredulously. “Dave, I just fucking barfed two million units worth of convoluted thoughts on you and your idiotic simplistic answer is YES?”

 

     “Well, what else am I supposed to say?” the kid shrugged. “Yes, Karkat. I like you more than one would like their regular best bro. Big fucking deal. It’s not like I’ve been trying to hide it. I’m sure the others know too.”

 

     A heartbeat skipped, followed by a stumped silence and a pair of yellow eyes widening.

 

     “But why didn’t you tell me?” he asked faintly, his face turning red for the millionth time. In his defense, Dave had taken him by surprise a lot that day.

 

     “I didn’t have a reason to.” and this time Dave was the one looking away, into the other side of the room. “See, I don’t actually know either if my feelings are flushed or pale. But the more I got used to having those feelings, the less I cared. The difference is supposed to rely on the platonicness, right? And I honestly can’t put my finger on if I only want to have stupidly deep conversations in a pile of random shit with you or if I rather hold hands and smack your face or whatever. I don’t care much about that stuff. Either way we would still hang out and have fun like we normally do, and I’m okay with the way our relationship is right now. I just like spending time with you.”

 

     Karkat’s eyes were back on his knees. His heart was beating fast and he had the impression his flesh was about to melt into his skeleton any second.

 

     That was why. That was the reason why Karkat found Dave as unnerving as he did.  Because just like that, he had a way of anticipating him and turning things around in ways Karkat could have never imagined. And he knew him better than anyone. He probably even knew that Karkat had been thinking about the whole thing for a while now and hadn’t been able to bring it up until that moment.

 

     “I don’t… know what to say.” Karkat admitted after a self-explanatory silence. He rubbed his arm just for the sake of doing something.

 

     “See, that’s the point I was trying to make. Don’t worry about it, bro.” Dave stood up and gestured Karkat to follow him before walking towards the door. “You don’t have to say anything at all. We cool. Now get up, and let’s go finish Love Actually ‘cause you haven’t seen the part I told you about yet.”

 

     But Karkat didn’t move.

 

     Dave reached the door and stopped to wait for his friend. Karkat remained sitting on the bed with a conflicted expression morphing on his face. Dave opened the door slowly, as if he was expecting to trigger a reaction by doing so.

 

    But no response.

 

    “... Karkat.” the kid let go a heay sigh. He turned around again, but he seemed worried now. “Don’t make this weird, please.”

 

     And his voice sounded so sincere and gentle that it seemed to work its magic on Karkat’s system. Slowly but surely, Karkat’s posture started to relax.

 

     He felt silly. Why was he getting so worked up about something he didn't know what to do with? Even if Dave's feeling were clear and set in stone, his were still a tangled web he couldn't decipher yet. He looked at his shoes for a few moments, contemplating both his shoelaces and the possibility that maybe he didn’t have to make a huge deal out of sharing feelings with someone for once in his life.

 

     Maybe that was the answer. Going bonkers over people's relationship status had never given him anything good in result, even less when it came to his own relationships. And he enjoyed Dave's company didn't he?. It was fun and it was calming to be around him. It was nice having someone holding him by his sweater's sleeve every time his head started to wander into treacherous and complicated scenarios that he didn't know how to come back from. Dave always made sure to pull him back right on time and then distract him with something else. He kept him sane.

 

     A warm feeling took over Karkat's chest. His eyes met Dave’s and a shy smile appeared on his lips before he stood up and walked towards him. Dave returned the smile with relief.

 

    “Just a question though.” Karkat suddenly said, taking Dave by surprise. “Is it still making it weird if I also just say… yes?”

 

     “Yes to finishing Love Actually?”

 

     Karkat held back his laughter and hit him playfully with his elbow.

 

     “Yeah, I guess that too.”

 

       And for the first time in weeks, he felt relieved. That’s what was bothering him so much. He wanted to find a name for the feelings he had been experiencing, and a name for the ones Dave had been displaying, but it was only now he realized it didn’t have to matter. He didn’t have to know if Dave was flushed or pale or just an idiot.

 

     He liked Dave. And Dave liked him.

  
      That was the end of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is not the end of it (hopefully)
> 
> Please let me know what you think! This is the first time I write/publish a full fic in english so all kinds of feedback is appreciated. (Again, my beta-reader bailed on me and I haven't been able to find another one).
> 
> I'm still finishing the second chapter (The First Time He Kissed Me) and might upload it at the end of the week, but if I see people interested in the rest of it I'll do my best to finish the whole thing asap. 
> 
> Thanks for your time, have a nice day!
> 
> Ro


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back!
> 
> Thank you all very much for reading, and specially for the kudos and the comments. I was very nervous to post a story I really liked with my favorite ship of all time and to never get any feedback because the Homestuck fandom is mostly dead now. But I was happily surprised.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

**The First Time He Kissed Me**

 

   Day 762 stranded in the meteor.

 

   Location: The common room.

 

   Karkat status: Happy.

 

   “No, no, no! It’s my turn! Dave, it’s my turn, stop it!”

 

   "Are they ever going to shut up?" Vriska complained out loud, turning her head towards the duo scribbling and giggling in a sofa nearby.

 

   Karkat status clarification: Maybe infuriatingly happy to some.

 

   Vriska and Terezi were currently sitting at the big table in the common room going through some of Rose's books and annotations about the new session. They had spent several months strategizing and investigating by themselves, but unluckily for them, Dave and Karkat had decided to have a drawing contest in the same area for no reason in particular, and they weren't precisely quiet about it.

 

   "Jesus fuck, how on earth is that a crab??” Dave was laughing almost uncontrollably. “It looks like a huge dead spider!"

 

   "It's because of the legs!" Karkat defended himself while trying his best not to laugh too. "Shut the fuck up! I want to see you draw a better sea creature with your left hand, asshole!"

 

   "Pffft, done. Watch and weep, dude!"

 

   Vriska groaned and buried her face on her own hands.

 

   "Maybe we should just go to the studio to finish mapping out the rest," Terezi snickered. She remained quiet for a few seconds to listen to the silly yelling going on behind them and then lowered her voice to make sure only Vriska could hear. "Doesn’t look like these two are getting a room any time soon, uh?"

 

   "Right???." Vriska looked over her shoulder one more time. Karkat was trying to take back the pen forcefully, but Dave would keep on drawing with his left hand by placing the notebook on the armrest while using the other hand to push him away. “What even is their deal? You would think they’d have AT LEAST said something about it by now.”

 

   “Kanaya told me Karkat assures they aren’t dating nor trying to.” Vriska addressed her the most incredulous look she was capable of, and even though the Seer couldn’t see it, the silence had been meaningful enough. “Right? They either think we are stupid or they haven’t really figured it out yet.”

 

   As she said that, Karkat had finally snatched the pen and the notebook and was now doing his best to scribble over the drawing while lying on his side, with the notebook on the cushion and keeping Dave away with his feet.

 

   “Oh my god! What are you doing?? I’m going to fucking sue you for art theft! It’s a goddamn masterpiece, how dare you ruin it like that???”

 

   “D-dave stop! Hah-haha- stop it! You are a cheater! Me as that fish princess with the red hair does not count as a sea creature, you cheating copyright-infringing dickhead!”

 

   “What are you talking about??? It’s an original- an original piece! Agh. Give it back! No, don’t draw over the shells they are the best part!!”

 

   “Fuck- you! It is the fish princess! Mrf- let go!! Don’t even try to say it isn’t, we literally watched that stupid wigglers movie two days ago!”

 

   “No! It’s my drawing, YOU give it back! Plus, you didn’t think it was a stupid wigglers movie when you threw a tantrum because Ursula’s fucked up mob-like eels ruined Ariel and Erick’s hella sweet kiss in the pond!”

 

   Vriska and Terezi kept staring in silence, maybe waiting to see if they were planning to stop any time soon, quickly realizing they were just wasting their time. The spidertroll sighed heavily and stood up, an indication for Terezi to do the same and start gathering the books and the pens with resignation.

 

   Karkat and Dave never realized when the girls left the room, they were too busy struggling to take the notebook away from each other while laughing and trying not to fall from the couch. It took several minutes for them to exhaust their energy resources, but they had to silently agree on a truce when Dave’s glasses fell from his nose and Karkat almost crushed them with his knee.

 

   “I-I’m… hah… I’m sorry…” Karkat managed to say in between the gasps as he leaned back on the sofa. Dave dismissed the apology with a gesture, mostly because he was also still trying to catch his breath. “Did they break??”

 

   “Nah… See? They’re fine.” he put the shades back on as he made his best to take deep breaths. “How am I lookin?”

 

   “Like you just fell through three flights of stairs and almost died in the process,” Karkat snorted, resting his right arm on the back of the couch and then his cheek, his breathing slowly becoming steady. He narrowed his eyes with a tiny smirk on his face. “But still cute.”

 

   To his delight, Dave caught on it a second too late and displayed a surprised expression before blushing a little.

 

   “Smooth.” he acknowledged, pointing at him like if he was a businessman at a meeting who was agreeing with a very well-informed opinion. He returned the smirk.

 

   Since they had put all the cards on the table and established they were okay with liking each other, things had been… good. Better than ever, actually.

 

   The two Knights had been enjoying each other’s company as they always had, but now it seemed like everything was more natural. It probably helped a lot that there weren’t any awkward moments between them anymore, and they said everything they thought without remorse.

 

   Evidently, these newly acquired comfortness had spawned new interactions between them that they had never shared. Dave called them relationship upgrades, and flirting was probably one of Karkat’s favorite.

 

   “I’m liking your new look as well.” he added gesturing towards Karkat’s messy hair. “It is getting longer already though… Not gonna lie, it’s pretty hot.”

 

   Dave was very good at it. Most of the time. But even if he embarrassed himself occasionally and lost all trace of suave-ness, it never failed to make Karkat's intestines swirl and contract both in nervousness and excitement.

 

   “Then I guess I won’t tell Kanaya to cut it.” he said eyeing the tips of hair almost touching his eyebrows. “Or maybe I will, just to spite you.”

 

   “Hey. Rude.” he raised his hand just enough to brush off the black strands of hair on his forehead, and then caress the points he caught between his fingertips like if he was rubbing a fine dust with them. Karkat's blood-pressure didn’t seem to appreciate it. They were still sitting on the couch but facing each other, and Karkat wondered when or how they had gotten so close without him noticing.

 

   Now that they had calmed down, their bodies felt heavy and tired. Karkat was still resting his arm on the back of the couch with half of his face using the arm as a pillow; he had folded his legs enough to stop touching the ground, and his eyes were almost closed, as if he was fighting not to fall asleep. Dave had also picked up his legs and had an elbow against the sofa’s backrest to hold up his jaw and keep looking at Karkat, his free hand still busy playing with his hair.

 

   “Do you want to go watch something?” Karkat asked softly, feeling Dave’s free hand fiddle with his hair while he was trying to regulate the already altered beating of his heart.

 

   “Rose and Kanaya are hoarding the movies chamber for today, remember?” his voice was like silk, soothing and soft. Karkat emitted a quiet affirmative hum and closed his eyes. He appeared calm, but internally he was doing his best to keep his brain from shutting down in panic. “Maybe we can go to my room and watch it with your husktop? You do have a shit ton of alternian movies we haven’t watched yet.”

 

   “I guess…”

 

   And suddenly, it was like there was a fire alarm going off inside of him. Karkat didn’t know how Dave wasn’t able to hear the sirens or see the smoke coming out of his ears. He still hadn’t moved or made a sound, but he felt his cheeks burning.

 

   They had both gotten really good at keeping the atmosphere relaxed when they were together, and it wasn’t very difficult since all they did was play around, chill out and have fun. Problem was, even if Karkat had gotten used to being playfully physical and flirty, they had never really gone farther than that. Even the hair-touching thing was new.

 

   In his head, Karkat would insist that their relationship remained a friendship with some ambiguous red undertones they could not define. But deep down, buried deep inside his thinkpan, he knew the Karkat from the year before would have nailed down their will-they-won’t-they situation with a big bright red banner.

 

   But it couldn’t be that definite, could it?

 

   He had spent the past two months just hanging out with his friend as they always did. Most of the time the Mayor was with them. It could still lean into a pale relationship, right? I mean, sure, moirails never flirted the way they did. And OKAY, maybe the blushing and stupid-giggling was more indicative of a potential matespritship. But annoyingly sappy moirails were a thing too. It could still happen. It could still be platonic.

 

   “We don’t have to go to my room if you don’t want to though,” Dave said carefully, trying to read Karkat’s eyes and silence. “You can just bring the husktop here and…”

 

   “No.” he opened his eyes and raised his head, making Dave pull back a little and remove his hand from his hair. His own sudden reply tainted his cheeks further with the embarrassment. “I mean… it’s okay. I just- I’m not sure if we should.”

 

   Dave was quiet, but now he also looked a little anxious. Karkat’s eyes registered every inch of his face wishing to decipher what he was thinking. They examined from his eyes, looking at him behind the black lenses, to the round nose covered in faint brown stars, until he reached the thin pink lips their owner was now pursing nervously.

 

   Karkat felt his heart racing even faster. It was as if the organ was desperately trying to escape its bone and flesh prison before it was too late. His stomach had turned into a knot, and his throat was dry. He couldn’t help staring at those lips and then the eyes behind the shades back and forth, probably underlining even more the obvious.

 

   Dave swallowed so slowly it looked uncomfortable, like if his throat had turned into a desert in a matter of seconds and there was sand in his mouth instead of saliva.

 

   “Karkat,” the aforementioned’s blood pump jumped in its place. “Remember awhile back, when we talked about liking each other… and I told you that I couldn’t define my feelings?”

 

   Aaand… there it was. Karkat didn’t look away, but his body had gone stiff. His nails slowly clawed onto the couch as if he was bracing for impact.

 

   “Yeah…?”

 

   “And that I didn’t really know if they were pale or flushed….?”

 

   “Hm-mm.”

 

   “Well.” Karkat flinched when he felt Dave touching the back of his hand and then slowly going up his arm, stopping to hold onto his elbow tightly. “I think I know now.”

 

   The fire alarm inside him was ringing louder but there wasn’t anything functional left in his body anymore. There had been a short circuit in his brain. He couldn’t feel his body, he was not sure if he was there or if he was watching through a lense from somewhere else.

 

   But somehow, his mouth knew what he wanted to say.

 

   “Are… they pale?”

 

   Dave let go a soft laugh. The kind you make when a child asks you something you didn’t know they could ask. The hand that wasn’t holding Karkat’s elbow found its way up over his chest and clinged behind his neck.

 

   “Hell no.”

 

   And somehow his mouth knew what he wanted to do too. He barely even saw Dave approach him before he had closed his own eyes and stretched his neck. His hands held onto the god tier’s attire and pulled him towards him at the same time their lips met.

 

   And just like that, he was gone. Even the next day the memory would send shivers down his spine and a numbing but pleasant feeling through his body.

 

   The kiss had started slow, with their lips touching for several seconds and then separating barely millimeters before they met again; but once they had exchanged a couple pecks, Dave opened his mouth enough to trap Karkat’s lips within them, and Karkat opened his as well to imitate him.

 

   It was so warm, and humid. He felt as if a balloon full of hot water was being inflated inside his chest. Every time he had to breathe his whole respiratory system quivered when he inhaled the smell coming from the Dave’s skin. He had to break the kiss once or twice because the feeling was so overwhelming that a nervous chuckle escaped his mouth, and when he did, he heard the smile in Dave’s short gasps before they kissed again.

 

   They moved their heads as they felt it right, with their faces occasionally impacting clumsily and meeting noses and eventually the infamous pair of shades. Dave took them off, exasperated. Karkat had only a couple seconds to admire his shadeless flustered face, with his mouth semi-open and his dilated pupils, cheeks lighted up like red lights and his tongue discretely licking his impatient lips as to calm them down.

 

   “C’mere…”

 

   Didn’t have to say it twice. Their mouths found their way into each other immediately, and Karkat wrapped one arm around his neck and the other around his torso, pushing his own body up as he kneeled on the couch. Dave had to raise his chin in order to keep kissing him, and Karkat's closeness seemed to trigger something, because the kiss turned hungrier as he buried his fingers on the back of the dark sweater. The body under the piece of fabric shivered completely at the touch.

 

   “Fuck, Dave.” Karkat exhaled weakly. His ears felt extremely hot and they were ringing. He had to pull back a little so Dave’s lips wouldn’t capture his again. It was like if he was feeling an hallucinatory fever going down, coming back to his senses slowly. “Fuck. Wait. Oh my god…”

 

   “Just five more minutes,” Strider whispered kissing him again, he felt Karkat trying to pull back but he squeezed him in his arms. He broke the kiss without setting distance between them, breathing sharply against his mouth. “Five more minutes, please.”

 

   “But- Dave!” he grabbed him by his face to stop him from devouring him. Strider groaned but Karkat didn’t care. Now that reality had dawned on him he was starting to freak out “We shouldn’t be doing this shit in the goddamn common room! Anyone can walk in and-”

 

   “I know, I know.” he sighed throwing his head back in defeat. He closed his eyes shut and then rested his forehead against Karkat’s. “I just…” a soft chuckle was born from his smile. “I can’t tell you how much I had thought about doing this. And god, it was so much better than I ever imagined.”

 

   Karkat was sure he had never felt his face warmer. Not even when he was playing his own sburb session and his planet was literally covered in lava.

 

   “I can’t say… I hadn’t thought about it either.” he admitted calming down at the sight of Strider’s stupidly adorable eyes, bright red and drunk with desire. He wished he didn’t wear those glasses so much. His fingers slid down Dave’s cheeks and he placed short chaste kiss on his lips. “But I didn’t want to admit it because the chances of fucking up were plenty.”

 

   “Yeah…” Dave smiled again, sheepishly and relieved. His voice was reduced to a hoarse murmur. “I’m glad you took your chances anyway.”

 

   “You know. I honestly don’t think I was looking at the whole picture when it was the moment to make a decision.” Karkat admitted with a shy smirk. Dave pulled his legs gently and made him sit on his lap. “Actually, I don’t think I was thinking of anything. It felt like… it was bound to happen regardless of what I thought about it.”

 

   “Like if we had made an appointment for it months ago.” Dave interceded, offering his hand for Karkat to take. He did. “August 13th, at 6 pm according to earth’s day cycles. Smooching meeting at the common room. Bring your juiciest and nicest lips.”

 

   ”So… my only lips.”

 

   “Your only lips.” he confirmed leaning to steal another kiss. Karkat’s hand squeezed his in response. Dave sighed against his mouth. “Fuck. I could do this all day.”

 

   “What about that movie in your room, then?”

 

   Dave closed his eyes for a second and made a noise as if he was in pain. He rested his forehead in Karkat’s shoulder and sighed dramatically.

 

   “Jesus fuck, Karkat.”

 

   “What? What happened?” he inquired, worried.

 

   “What do you mean what??” Dave looked at him again, almost offended. “I’m still trying to assimilate that this happened and you already have me scheduled and everything.”

 

   Karkat couldn’t hold back his laughter. “Oh, fuck you.” He pulled his hair playfully but then rested his forehead against his, closing his eyes. “I thought you didn’t want us to stop.”

 

   “I don’t.” a long sly smile blossomed on his lips. “Do YOU want us to stop?”

 

   It took a few seconds for Karkat to reply, mostly because he felt nervous, but also because he didn’t know how to answer without hating himself. He felt a shower of painfully raw embarrassment just by opening his eyes and seeing Dave patiently waiting with an obnoxious grin on his face. Karkat looked down out of instinct, face steaming hot.

 

   “I don’t mind if we get to kiss some more.” he grumbled faintly.

 

   Dave bit back his smile, making his best to pretend his heart wasn’t melting. “You are too fucking cute.” Another kiss happened. A slower and more tender one.

  
   Karkat status update: On cloud nine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sticky now because of all this damn honey i just dropped all over the place. I apologize.
> 
> Once again, I appreciate all comments you could give, and I'll be back next weekend again for "The First Time We Fought."
> 
> Thanks so much for reading.
> 
> Have a nice day!
> 
> Ro.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back again.
> 
> I'm sorry for the delay, I was expecting to upload this chapter yesterday, but I had my bf over to do some remodeling at home so I wasn't able to edit the chapter until just now. Also I had a HELL of a time trying this Homestuck skin thing. Fuck. If you are reading this on mobile the text will probably look a little weird at times. Sorry about that.
> 
> Anyway.
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy it.

  **The First Time We Fought**

 

 

   Almost two months had passed, but for Karkat it had felt like a whole sweep.

 

   Following the couch snogging, nothing but butterflies and fire seemed to live within him. Sometimes simultaneously. Toasted butterflies dropping in his insides left and right.

 

   It was ridiculous thinking that he and Dave had once hated their guts, and he still couldn’t believe they were so close and so into each other now. These were strange and yet amazing times.

 

   He didn’t want to jump to conclusions, but Dave appeared to be quite happy too. He smiled a lot more, for sure, but he had also shown he was capable of levels of sweetness Karkat could have never imagined. It made him feel special having Dave taking care of him _almost_ as he did with the Mayor.

 

   They were still officially friends, and they hadn’t let anyone know about how intimate their relationship was now (even if some of them already suspected it), so they had to sneak around a lot to make out, or hold hands and cuddle in private.

 

   Karkat wondered sometimes if he should ask about the status of their relationship, but it was easy to forget about it with Dave playing with his hair during movie nights, and casually calling him “babe”. He had never been a fan of pet names, but that one had a good ring to it.

 

   Altogether, life was good for a couple of aliens sharing feelings while stuck inside a flying rock.

 

   That’s why it was easy to forget that when it comes to relationships, there are always some issues you can’t avoid. And nothing could have prepared the two of them for the inevitable. They soon had to learn that the weirdest and most toxic of emotions could inhabit even in the most innocent of hearts.

 

  “Dave, seriously?? Are we seriously going to do this?? I asked you a fucking question. Are you going to keep avoiding it?"

 

   Karkat’s heart, to be precise.

 

   “I’m not avoiding it, I’m asking you why you keep raising your voice and getting worked up about it!”

 

   “That’s what avoiding my questions entails, asshole!”

 

   Dave let go a loud and exasperated sigh as he looked away from him, like if he was waiting for an invisible referi to interfere between them and put an end to that nonsense. But they were alone, standing in the middle of Karkat’s room after Dave had chased him down because his gut told him something wasn’t right. And his gut wasn’t mistaken.

 

   At the evident lack of mediators, Dave took a second to breathe as he moved his hands up and down once to calm himself. He looked back at his best friend, doing an effort to control the volume of his voice this time.

 

   “Your question was long and convoluted.” he explained patiently. “Would you mind asking again without the existential rant and the metaphors?”

 

   Karkat’s eyes were still embed with rage, but he also made an effort to lower his tone of voice and keep himself serious and collected.

 

   “As I said.” he started again, slowly. “I just want to know, if you still have any sort of feelings for her.  And or if you have any plans for those feelings.”

 

   Dave looked at him in silence for a couple seconds. Karkat didn’t even blink.

 

   “I’m sorry, I just can’t take you fucking serious right now.” Dave scoffed, his traits getting rigid once more. “I can’t believe you are doing this shit.”

 

   “Oh my god you do.” Karkat almost let go a sarcastic laugh, but couldn’t get past the bitter smile. “I knew it! You actually fucking like her! You haven’t seen her in years and-”

 

   “People like people!!” his voice had been raised again. Karkat stopped talking immediately, all desire to fight shadowed by the surprise. “No one can actually control if they like someone or how much they do it! Don’t you know that too with all your mighty knowledge in romance?? Fuck, Karkat! You are basically butchering my dick over here because of some crush I had when I was thirteen! Do you realize how fucking psychotic you sound??” Karkat couldn’t reply back, but he seemed to shrink a little as he closed his hands into fists and clenched his jaw. “Yes, I haven’t seen the real Jade in two years, but she is my friend and I want to see her. And yes, maybe I will still like her, or maybe I won’t. I don’t know that! You don’t know that!”

 

   “The Jade from the dream bubble seemed really into you.” even Karkat knew his arguments had gotten weaker, but he felt the urge to keep shoving his unlikely accusations in hopes that at least one of them would make sense. He was aware that the fight was already lost. His heart was scared and stubborn, and that was never a good combination.

 

   “Maybe because she was in fact dating the Dave from her timeline?? Fuck, I don’t know. Why does it matter? The bubble is gone and so is she.” as much as Dave was trying to calm down, the sight of Karkat opening his mouth to sprout yet another ridiculous thought made him grunt in disbelief. “I seriously can’t fucking believe you have the nerve of bringing up Jade of all people. You seem to forget you also crushed on her AND John when you helped us through our session. In fact, if I’m not mistaken, you also had a thing going on with Terezi at the time. But you don’t see me losing my marbles over you once wanting to get with them, or the possibility that you did at some point, do you?”

 

   Bullseye.

 

   “It’s different…” Karkat mumbled looking down. His eyes were stinging.

 

   Dave looked done. He probably was.

 

   “It’s not! It’s not fucking different!” And without another word, he turned around and exited the room, leaving the door open.

 

   Karkat closed his eyes for a second. His nails caved into his palms right before he lost his temper and slammed the door shut. He let go an angry growl and then crossed the room in two long strides just to kick the coffee table placed before the sofa. The impact was such that he did not only hurt his foot, but he also scattered some of the books he had piled up on it.

 

   “Fuck!!”

 

   He dropped on the sofa like a dead weight and drowned his face in the only cushion it had. He was short of breath. His chest felt so heavy and it was aching so much that he considered checking for internal bleeding. Jack Noir had let him know how regular and abundant bleeding was, so he couldn’t discard the possibility. Maybe he had yelled so hard that least one of his internal organs had bursted like a bubble.

 

   Whichever the case, it didn’t matter. He didn’t even want to move. Everything just hurt.

 

   His breathing stopped for a second before a suffocated sob escaped from his mouth. He felt the red tears dripping down the sides of his face, as his heart clenched painfully.

 

   He never thought he could have a fight with Dave again. Specially not one where Dave would lose his cool and yell at him. It really came to show how mad he was, and how difficult it was going to be to pick up the pieces. If there were any big enough to pick, that is.

 

   He felt so stupid. He didn’t even understand how he had snapped like that in a matter of seconds. He was completely calm when they were in the dream bubble, even talked to the infamous Jade for a while, but the more he kept thinking about the encounter throughout the day, the more it started bothering him. It was like if a long and elusive shadow had been following his every move, whispering things into his ear at every given chance.

 

   All Dave had done was ask if something was wrong, and Karkat didn’t hesitate to tell him in the most accusatory and sarcastic tone he was capable of. He had it coming.

 

   “I’m such a stupid sack of shit.”

 

   Karkat was aware that he was very good at coming up with excuses for his actions. He had shown it again and again with his friends while they were playing the game in their session. He wouldn’t answer for strategic mistakes unless they were in danger and had to come up with something different, but he always had a very well elaborated explanation to give so he wouldn’t have to apologize for his actions. And he had changed a lot since then, but he still knew what he was capable of.

 

   Surprisingly, this time his brain was out of creative ideas for him to hide behind. There wasn’t a single thing he could pin on someone else nor disguise as a misunderstanding. It was all on him. And the real problem was that Dave was truly angry. He probably wouldn’t want to see him for a while, and he would be in his right to. There was nothing he could do about it.

 

   It would take several hours for him to leave the room, and when he did, it was only to get some food. He wasn’t even hungry, but he needed a distraction.

 

   He ran into Rose and Kanaya in the kitchen, and he felt like being buried alive. He was completely sure they had heard the yelling from earlier that day, and they had been theorizing about Dave and Karkat’s relationship for so long that this was only one more interesting clue to add to their log.

 

   He barely managed to sleep that night. His recuperacoon seemed too tight and uncomfortable for some reason. Part of him thought it was probably because he felt guilty, but the other part would suggest he had really grown to like human beds.

 

   He had cuddled and even slept a bunch with Dave in the past weeks, and he had loved every second of it. Evidently, that kind of intimacy was reserved to humans, since troll recuperacoons were not designed for housing more than one individual at a time.

 

   And Karkat loved it. It was so warm and soft, and there was no slime residue to worry about after waking up. It was a nice change, and he was almost shocked that he never heard the dark and horrible thoughts that would haunt the alternians every night. It was unclear if it was because his civilization had been destroyed, or just because Dave’s company had the same relaxing properties the slime had.

 

   Regardless, it was evident Karkat’s favorite part about the human bed wasn’t the bed. It was the human. He loved opening his eyes in the middle of their sleeping session and seeing the shadeless and peaceful face Dave would only make while in bed. His eyes closed, his mouth slightly open, his body moving up and down very slowly. Sometimes Karkat would kiss his lips just to see him open his eyes and smile faintly at him, before scooting closer or wrapping his arm around him.

 

   Normally that only thought would give him warm and cozy feelings every time, but after the argument those feelings had turned into an invisible swarm of angry wasps that would sting his intestines mercilessly.

 

   He felt like crying again. Trying to sleep any further would be fruitless, so he decided to leave his recuperacoon and get dressed in the dark. Maybe he could watch some videos in his husktop to distract himself.

 

   Unsurprisingly, his mind betrayed him again.

 

   He cleaned himself up, put on some clothes, and sat on the couch. He did manage to open the navigator, but before he had typed anything, his fingers moved swiftly on the cheesebeastpad to minimize the window and go straight to the Trollian icon.

 

   He was probably the only one still using the server to communicate with others in the meteor, so his excuse to check for new messages was clearly pathetic. He was actually looking for the last conversation he had had around a week ago. He had contacted Dave in the middle of the meteor’s sleeping hours because he couldn’t stop overthinking, and Dave had gladly spent the whole “night” talking to him and making him feel better.

 

   He had been rereading that conversation a lot in the past few days. It was a gushing and good-feelings boost every time.

 

   But before he managed to go down the self-hate slide by torturing himself with happy things he did not longer have, he noticed there was a blinking handle on his contacts. Karkat almost didn’t see it because no one contacted him through Trollian anymore.

 

   Especially not her. 

grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [GG]

GA: Would You Mind If I Asked You Something  
CG: IF THIS IS ABOUT THE YELLING I’M SORRY IT WON’T HAPPEN AGAIN  
GA: It Is Not About The Yelling  
GA: Entirely  
GA: Why Are You Apologizing Anyway  
CG: I DON’T KNOW  
CG: BECAUSE AFTER HALF A SWEEP YOU WOULD THINK I COULD *KEEP IT COOL*  
WHEN IT COMES TO THE SHIT THAT HAPPENS IN THIS FORSAKEN PIECE OF ROCK  
GA: Would I  
CG: BUT THERE’S ALSO THE FACT THAT I’M STILL AN IMPULSIVE AND RAGING  
IMBECILE WHO CAN’T CONTROL HIS MOST PRIMITIVE AND USELESS EMOTIONS  
CG: SO MAYBE I’M APOLOGIZING FOR THAT SHIT TOO  
GA: Would You Care To Elaborate  
CG: YES  
CG: AND BY THAT I MEAN I WOULD PREFER TO BE BURNED ALIVE WHILE INSIDE A   
HOOFBEAST’S CARCASS  
CG. BUT YOU WOULDN’T BE MESSAGING ME IF IT DIDN’T LOOK BAD  
CG: IT LOOKS BAD DOESN’T IT?  
GA: It Is Somehow Worrisome To Hear You Yell At Dave Of All People  
GA: Specially Given How You Two Get Along These Days  
CG: WHAT DOES *THESE DAYS* EVEN MEAN  
CG: WE HAVE BEEN HERE FOR A LONG ASS TIME ALREADY AND WE STARTED   
BEING FRIENDS A WHILE AGO  
CG: US GETTING ALONG ISN’T NEWS TO ANYONE  
GA: So What Exactly Did You Mean When You Mentioned Your Most Primitive  
And Useless Emotions  
CG: NOTHING.  
GA: Karkat You Know I Wont Tell Anyone If You Dont Want Me To  
CG: ...  
GA: We Couldnt Really Hear What You Were Yelling About  
GA: But I Dont Think Its That Difficult To Figure Out  
GA: That Jade We Met Earlier Was Unusually Friendly To Him  
CG: WAIT. SO I WASN’T THE ONLY ONE WHO NOTICED IT???   
CG: HOLY SHIT AND ALL THIS TIME I WAS THINKING I HAD TRULY GONE INSANE  
AND MADE IT ALL UP  
CG: I MEAN  
CG: FUCK  
GA: I Believe I Can Spare You The Awkwardness  
GA: Just Tell Me What Happened  
GA: You Guys Looked Like You Were Doing Fine  
CG: WE WERE  
GA: Then Why The Jealousy Display?  
CG: **SIGH**  
CG: WHY ELSE WOULD IT BE?  
CG: BECAUSE I’M A CONTROLLING PSYCHOPATH WHO CLEARLY DOESN’T UNDERSTAND  
THE LIMITS OF DECENCY AND FUCKEDUPNESS  
GA: I Don’t Think You Are A Controlling Psychopath  
CG: THAT’S NICE OF YOU TO SAY KANAYA BUT IT’S ALSO BULLSHIT AND YOU KNOW IT  
CG: I APPRECIATE THE THOUGHT THOUGH  
GA: I Mean It  
GA: Maybe You Used To Be  
GA: Thats Why The Thing With Terezi Never Worked Out  
CG: WOAH WHAT THE FUCK WHO TOLD YOU ABOUT THAT  
GA: You Still Seem To Think You Are Very Slick When It Comes To Your Emotions   
And How You Profess Them  
CG: WELL FIRST OF ALL FUCK YOU  
CG: AND SECOND OF ALL WHERE ARE YOU GOING WITH ALL OF THIS  
GA: I Don’t Think You Reacted The Way You Did This Time Just Because You   
Wanted To Be In Control  
GA: Im Sure Its More Complicated Than That  
CG: HOW SO  
GA: Well  
GA; How Many Stable Quadrants Have You Had?  
CG: UM. FUCKING PERSONAL MUCH? WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT  
GA: The Kind Of Question You Cant Bring Yourself To Answer It Seems  
CG: ...  
CG: NONE. A COUPLE POTENTIAL MATES ON THE WAY BUT NEVER CONSOLIDATED ANY  
OF THEM. WHY?  
GA: I Think Your Issue Relies On The Fact That You Have Found Another Potential  
Mate And Its Probably The One You Have Cared About The Most  
CG: I DON’T THINK I’M COMFORTABLE WITH ALL THE INFORMATION YOU HAVE ABOUT   
THIS MATTER  
CG: WHO HAVE YOU BEEN TALKING TO? HAVE YOU BEEN TALKING TO ROSE ABOUT THIS?  
OH MY GOD WHAT AM I TALKING ABOUT OF COURSE YOU HAVE  
CG: HAVE YOUR DAYS BECOME SO UNEVENTFUL AND UNBEARABLE SHE IS USING HER SEER  
POWERS TO DIG THROUGH MY SORRY EXCUSE OF A LOVE LIFE AS A PASTIME??  
GA: Its Okay That You Are Scared Karkat  
CG: WHAT  
GA: But You Cant Worry About Other Possible Love Interests Dave Could Have If   
You Want To Be With Him  
CG: I DON’T WORRY ABOUT THAT  
GA: Are You Sure  
GA: It Seems To Me That You Don’t Know If He Likes You Enough To Stay With You  
GA: Isnt That The Problem  
CG: I DON’T KNOW???? IS IT??  
CG: JESUS FUCK KANAYA WHAT HAS GOTTEN INTO YOU WITH ALL THESE QUESTIONS  
GA: Think Of It This Way  
GA: Everything Was Working Splendidly Between The Two Of You Until You Remembered  
He Knows Other People Outside This Meteor And That We Will All Meet Them Along With Another   
Set Of Players Upon Arrival To The New Session  
GA: You Are Scared That His Feelings Will Change  
GA: Or That He Will Develop New Ones  
GA: ...  
GA: Well Arent You  
GA: Karkat are you still there  
CG: SORRY I TOOK A MINUTE TO REPLY I WAS SMASHING MY HEAD AGAINST THE NEAREST WALL  
IN HOPES TO DIE OF A CONCUSSION  
GA: Really  
CG: NO BUT I FEEL REALLY FUCKING TEMPTED NOW THAT I SAID IT OUT LOUD  
GA: Please Dont Destroy Your Brain Helmet  
GA: You Have To Talk To Him  
CG: WHAT  
CG: NO  
CG: FUCK NO  
CG: I CAN’T FUCKING TALK TO HIM I CAN’T EVEN LOOK AT HIM RIGHT NOW!  
CG: I AM THE MOST DISGRACEFUL AND GROSS SHITSTAIN IN THIS METEOR, AND THAT’S INCLUDING  
VRISKA AND GAMZEE AND BOTH OF THEM HURT AND KILLED SOME OF OUR FRIENDS  
GA: I Also Killed Eridan  
CG: IT’S OKAY HE DESERVED IT  
CG: BUT WHAT I MEAN IS  
CG: FUCK  
CG: OKAY  
CG: YES, KANAYA I WANT TO BE WITH HIM. I WANT IT PROBABLY MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW  
CG: BUT HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FACE HIM AFTER I YELLED AT HIM BECAUSE SOMEHOW MAYBE ONE  
DAY HE COULD PERHAPS GET TO HAVE FEELINGS FOR OTHER PEOPLE THAT AREN’T ME??  
CG: AND WHAT IF I DO IT AGAIN? WHAT IF I GO CRAZY AND START YELLING AT HIM OVER A BIT OF JEALOUSY?  
CG: I DON’T WANT HIM TO DEAL WITH THAT  
CG: HE DOESN’T DESERVE SOMEONE LIKE ME  
GA: Im Sure He Would Understand  
CG: HOW DO YOU KNOW??  
GA: Because He Already Did  
CG: ...WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN  
CG: ...   
CG: ???????????????????????  
CG: KANAYA  
CG: FUCKING ANSWER TO ME GODDAMMIT YOU CAN’T JUST PULL THAT OMINOUS SHIT ON ME AND THEN LEAVE

 

   Karkat’s heart was already racing in the midst of confusion, but it was almost shot out of his chest through his ribcage when the door in his room opened in a one sweep movement. He turned around and almost jumped out of the couch when he saw Dave in the entrance.

   It was impossible to know if he was angry or not, but he did seem to be a little agitated. It almost looked as if he had gotten lost and didn’t know how he had ended up in that room.

   “Dave what the fuck I thought you were asleep” Karkat whispered trying not to acknowledge that he was shaking a little.

   “How the fuck am I supposed to sleep if I freaked out on you for freaking out on me over something I couldn’t understand?” he inquired, his voice soft but dripping guilt. He closed the door quietly and looked at him again before letting go a long sigh. “I’ve been awake for hours. It was driving me crazy. I’m sorry, man. I didn’t mean to. I’m really really sorry.”

   Karkat remained still. If he was confused before, now he was truly lost.

   “Why on fucking Alternia would you have to apologize?” he asked, almost offended. He stood up and decided to get a little closer. Dave imitated him, narrowing the distance significantly. “Dave I went batshit crazy over something that made no sense at all, you don’t-”

   “No. It makes sense.” he corrected him immediately, and he seemed so serious about it that it was impossible for Karkat to argue. “See, that’s precisely the problem. I have no fucking excuse. I know you better than anyone, and I could have known what the real problem was if I had thought about it instead of getting angry and taking it personal.”

   Karkat’s mouth went dry, he felt as if he was about to both faint and vomit at the same time. “Have you been… talking to Kanaya?”

   “I was with her just now.”

   “Oh my god.”

   “I asked her to talk to you because I didn’t know how to-”

   “Oh. my. GOD.”

   “Karkat, please don’t lose your shit over this.” he asked, almost begged. But Karkat had already covered his face with both hands and was lamenting against them in a low and anguish moan “Dude, please? Seriously. I just want to sort this out.”

   “I’m so embarrassed,” Karkat was groaning against his hands. “Why oh why is this happening? How did I not see this coming? Why is Jack Noir so far away when I need him to murder me so desperately??”

   “Babe, stop. Please?”

   With those words, the mutant blood had suddenly transformed into lava and was now traveling through its owner’s circulatory system aggressively, melting everything it touched.

   Karkat separated his fingers enough for Dave to see his eyes and his gray skin now engulfed with red. Dave did his best to hold back his smile and grabbed Karkat’s forearms, trying unsuccessfully to rip his hands off his face.

   “I’m sorry for the yelling, and for asking Kanaya for help,” Dave said carefully. “But I want… I need you to know, that you have nothing to worry about.”

   “I beg to differ. I have to worry about Rose once I kill her matesprit in her sleep.”

   “You wouldn’t hurt Kanaya of all people,” Dave replied incredulous, finally managing to make Karkat put his hands down. “And I owe her a big one now. I don’t think I would’ve understood what happened if she hadn’t meddled when I asked her to.”

   “And here I thought she said her days as Auspistice were over…” Karkat mumbled unconsciously intertwining his fingers with Dave’s. He looked at his best friend once more, sighing softly in resignation. “Alright, let’s get over with this. Explain to me, oh so enlightened Hero Of Time, why wouldn’t I have to worry if worrying and starting shit have always been my only two talents?”

   “Oh, I’m sure you’ll find new ways and new things to start shit about eventually,” Karkat addressed him a half-joking half-serious warning look. Dave squeezed his fingers with his own and gave him an apologetic smile. “What I’m trying to say is… I now know why you lost it with the Jade thing…”

   “Because I’m an insecure idiot. It was wrong and inexcus-”

   “I know because I have never cared about anyone the way I care about you.”

   Stumped, embarrassed silence. Karkat even forgot to breathe for several seconds before his brain forced him to.

   “I know it sounds intense as fuck, I’m sorry if it’s too much,” Dave rushed to say, flushing indiscriminately when he saw no reaction. “I just think… you are always with me. I have never felt like someone could snatch you away from me. Maybe it’s a very arrogant thing to say, but I really haven’t. And if I ever did… who knows? Maybe I would do the same thing and flip the fuck out on you.”

   “How are you so sure about that?” Karkat dared to ask.

   Dave seemed amused by the question. ”Seriously, Karkat? I mean, shit man. You are the main reason I haven’t become Tom Hanks in fucking Cast Away. Well, except I’m stranded in a goddamn meteor with a bunch of lunatics and Kanaya instead of being in a deserted island by myself.”

   “What about the Mayor?”

   “Well yeah, obviously he would be my Willson. The only silent and friendly face I could turn to. But…” he thought of it for a moment that took a little longer than expected, and then he finally sighed. “See, all jokes aside. The Mayor is the Mayor. He’s cool and fun and simply the best there is... But Karkat is Karkat.” Dave let go one of his hands only to caress his face with his thumb. “He’s silly and funny and considerate, and my best friend.” Karkat held onto the hand on his cheek. His pulse was out of control again. Dave’s voice sounded a little strangled by his own nervousness “I love every second I’m with him. He makes me want to get my shit together just so I can be there for him. Fuck. I mean, look at me. I’m even making a fool of myself saying all this sappy shit in a speech formant because I want him to understand how much he means to me.”

   Dave shortened their distance in one simple movement and kissed him. He used both hands to cup Karkat’s face and smiled when he answered the kiss back, slowly and carefully.

   Karkat felt completely helpless. He couldn’t think straight anymore after hearing all that. His body wasn’t shaking as it was at the beginning, but he was sure it had something to do with the warm numbing feeling spreading through his extremities. The words and then the kiss had been a lethal combination to get at once. He could not believe he was still alive.

   But he was. And he was so happy. Dave made him so happy.

   Dave broke the kiss, leaving Karkat breathless and still yearning for more.

   “You mean so much to me, Karkat.” another kiss. A shorter one. “And you know the quadrants thing isn’t a big deal for me, but if it means anything to you, I would like to be part of yours.” Now Karkat was looking at him in shock, and his heart had gone from convulsing frantically to slamming itself against his ribcage again and again. “Assuming you have the red one still available and maybe ready for me,” he teased with a smile Karkat could only classify as ‘mean’ given how much his own body was sabotaging him already.

   “You’re such a fucking idiot,” Karkat murmured nailing his eyes on Dave’s clavicle. Their hands had intertwined again, and this time he didn’t even mind the shaking was quite evident. “It’s been available and ready for you for fucking ever.”

   “So that means I get to have Karkat’s only flushed red quadrant, huh?”

   “You can have all of them, I don’t give a shit.” but when he looked up, his face didn’t match his annoyed tone of voice. He was restraining a short smile on his lips and his eyes seemed to gleam with happiness. “But only because I really really fucking love you.”

   There was an unusual pause. Like if time had stopped. For a second it looked like if something huge and invisible had wrapped around Dave’s body and was now trying to crush him like a giant snake. He didn’t have a concrete expression on his face but he was definitely not breathing.

   “Dave?” Karkat started to worry.

   But Dave just shook his head, maybe to disregard his concern, or maybe to ask him not to speak anymore. Whichever it was, he let go off the gray hands and then slid his own around his body. Dave’s hands clawed themselves onto Karkat’s back as he buried his face on his neck. His arms tighten against his body. Karkat returned the hug.

   And then he felt something he had never felt. The heat and comfortness that you can only experience when someone you truly give a shit about holds you like you are everything to them. Like they wish they could never let go. And you wish they couldn’t either.

   “I love you too, babe.”

   Karkat squeezed his new matesprite in his arms and closed his eyes, smiling so hard his cheeks hurt.

 

   He breathed in Dave’s smell once more, and he was overtaken by the desperate need to kiss him again.

   And so he did.

  And then again, and again, and again.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well there you go. It took a lot of rewriting to get this one down.
> 
> You might have noticed the number of chapters planned for this fic went from 7 to 5. That's because I rewrote this one so much that at the end I added things that were planned for the other two chapters (The First Time He Told Me and The First Time We Talked About Quadrants *Seriously*)
> 
> But the more I wrote this chapter the more it felt wrong to make those things happen later on and to have one whole chapter for each because these two idiots have waited long enough just to hold hands so. There you go. Happiest ending for the most dramatic chapter.
> 
> Dave and Karkat are clearly head over heels for each other already and it felt silly to postpone love confessions and formalizing the relationship.  
>  
> 
> Anyway, thank you again for reading, and specially for the kudos and the comments. I appreciate them a lot. Lemme know what you think. See you next Sunday for an... interesting chapter.
> 
> Have a nice day!
> 
> Ro


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a nightmare to write. I erased and rewrote a million times. I edited for a whole day with pauses for sleeping and eating and studying because I really wanted to get it right. Not sure if I did, but I feel super happy with the final result.
> 
> Here ya go, vanilla smut a'hoy.

**The First First Time**

 

 

   “They know! How do they know!?”

 

   Dave was exclaiming, apparently on the brink of a personal mental breakdown. He was grabbing his hair and walking in circles inside his bedroom with Karkat staring from the entrance.

 

   “I don’t think they do.”

 

   “Of course they do! I had never seen Rose more enticed with innuendos in her fucking life. She has to be spying on us!”

 

   Karkat opted to walk in and close the door behind him. Dave was loud enough for any person in the hallway to hear.

 

   “I don’t think she has found out yet, but you are making sure she does now. Maybe it was a coincidence?” Karkat suggested trying to be logical, mostly just to help Dave calm down. “Rose has always had a knack for making things… inadequate for no reason. You might be overthinking it.”

 

   Dave stopped walking and looked at him skeptical.

 

   “Except IT IS too much of a coincidence that she is bringing that up when it hasn’t even been a week since-” the words died on his mouth abruptly, like if they had been shot by a sniper. Blood accumulated on his face. “You know… _that_.”

 

   Karkat didn’t need him to mention it. He knew what he was thinking from the moment Rose had said those things. He hadn’t stopped thinking about it himself because he wanted it to happen so badly.

 

   But it was not about wanting. Oh no. Lord knows that if it were about wanting, they would have had each other months ago. Or _that day,_  at least.

  

 

   They were lying on their favorite make-out spot (Dave’s bed), facing each other while kissing clumsily, lips barely separating by an inch every time they felt like finding a more comfortable position.

 

   Dave was on a roll that day.

 

   He would normally shy away and try to cut the encounter short as soon as there was any extra touching involved, but apparently he was particularly fond of the extra touching this time. Eager, even. He had taken off his glasses. He nibbled Karkat’s ear at some point, as his hands went down his back and grabbed onto his hips with unnecessary force, making Karkat gasp softly and hold onto his face more desperately as the kiss grew in intensity.

 

   Karkat would be the first to admit, he had a problem. The addiction kind. He firmly believed that his matesprite was probably made out of something his system had always lacked of. Like a particle, or a vitamin or some shit. There was no other explanation for his body’s reactions and impulses when they were alone for too long. Once Dave touched him, even if so slightly, his brain would get on total lockdown and leave the auto-pilot.

 

   Maybe it was the hands sailing through his skin, or the taste on his mouth and the scent of his hair. Maybe it was all of it: the softness, the sweetness, or the stupid shampoo he used. It didn’t matter. It was all chaos when he was under Strider’s spell. All he knew was that it drove him completely insane and he always wanted more.

 

   Dave would say that he seemed to lose himself at times, that he acted like someone completely different when they made out. Holding him anxiously, devouring him like if his life depended on it. It was embarrassing to hear, but mostly just to realize it only happened to him.

 

   That’s why Dave’s reactions that day were even more unprecedented. He was doing it this time. He was the one gasping for air as soon as there were kisses sliding down his neck, and he was definitely the only one who groaned with a husky voice when a tongue slid into his mouth.

 

   Not that Karkat was complaining. The complete opposite, as a matter of fact. His skin was on fire. The kiss was becoming hungrier and hungrier each time. Upper clothes had been removed, hands were slipping up and down, and the sharp breathing was only interrupted by sloppy suction noises.

 

   Then, suddenly, fingers hooked onto Karkat’s waistline and everything tensed up immediately. The intensity of the kiss subdued. Karkat’s hands had met Dave’s at the beginning of his pants, grabbing onto them but not pushing away.

 

   “Dave-” Karkat mumbled trying to stop himself from kissing him again. His voice was low and hoarse, he felt as he was forcing himself out of a fever dream “Are you sure? Is it really okay?”

 

   “Yes, it’s okay. Just take it off already.”

 

   But there was something about the way he said that. Hurried. Shut-up-before-i-think-it-over kind of hurried.

 

   Karkat set some distance between their faces. Breathing still irregular and sharp. He found a disappointed and anxious Strider before him, his insecure naked eyes visible enough in the dark. The fingers remained sewn onto him.

 

   “Babe,” it had taken Karkat five months to be able to use that pet name out loud without blushing profusely, so it was clear why he was still confused and worried about his matesprite acting like that. Dave was the one who was supposed to be chill about the whole thing. “I don’t want it if it’s something you feel you have to do.”

 

   Dave sighed in the most overdramatic way his lungs were capable of before he let go of Karkat’s waistline and rolled back to face the ceiling. Karkat’s lips crooked to the side. He scooted closer as Dave covered his eyes with his forearm.

 

   “But I _do_ want to.” he said under his breath.

 

   “I know.”

 

   “But I don’t know how to- if I’m…” a short pause followed by another exhalation. “Nevermind. I don’t even have good excuses for my lameness.”

 

   “I’ve told you already,” Karkat said in the calmest of voices. He had gotten really good at those now that he spent less time being angry, “You don’t have anything to proof. We don’t have anything to achieve. It’s not like there’s a fucking checklist we have to accomplish before we get to the new session and the Guardian of Quadrants or some made-up mythical asshole like that shows up and tests us.”

 

   Dave uncovered his eyes and looked at him. His traits remained stoic but his eyes displayed the same amount of discontent a pout would do.

 

   “But you look so into it. And I want to make you feel good.”

 

   Karkat thanked the deity he didn’t believe in for the darkness in the room because he really needed to hide that aggressive red taking over his face. Although the warmth was such that he wouldn’t have been surprised if a red glow had suddenly started reflecting on Dave’s shadeless face.

 

   “Being with you makes me feel good already,” he whispered, narrowing eyes and running his hand through Dave’s arm.

 

   He rolled on his side again, pleased with the sweet comment, but still visibly ashamed.

 

   “You know what I mean.”

 

   He did. And he would be lying if he said he wasn’t a little disappointed. This wasn’t the first time everything had gone off the rails at outstanding speed, but it was the first time they had gotten that far on the first place. Karkat had told himself again and again that it didn’t matter. It didn’t matter one bit.

 

   Dave wasn’t comfortable with the idea of getting too physical yet, and whether it was because he was a newcomer in the land or because he simply hadn’t come to terms with having a boyfriend with literal alien genitalia, Karkat respected his second-guessing.

 

   He wasn’t one to push.

 

   Well.

 

   At least not on matters of that nature.

 

   “I love you,” Karkat said placing a kiss on his upper lip. “And I’m not in a rush to jump into something I had lived without all my life, believe me.”

 

   “Wait you mean to tell me my fucking precious boyfriend hasn’t been woo’d and undressed in bed by anyone before?” Karkat immediately regretted his previous tenderness. His jaw tightened menacingly as soon as he detected _that_ tone of voice. “This is fucking transcendental, man. Bring the press, because i cannot fucking believe Karkat I-Shake-Like-A-Leaf-In-The-Windiest-Of-Fucking-Falls-Whenever-My-Matesprite-Whispers-In-My-Ear Vantas is as inexperienced as I am.”

 

   “You are pushing it now, Dave Almost-Single Strider.” Karkat said with the kind of deadpan voice that foresees murder.

 

   “ _Sorrybabeil_ _oveyou_.”

 

 

   And now they were there in the present. In Dave’s room again, after he stormed out from a potential xenosexuality talk with his sister, to remind himself and his boyfriend that the last time sex had been brought to the table things had been everything but smooth.

 

   Dave sat on his bed, his back bent a little and hands laced on top of his knees. He said nothing. He just stayed put and let a terse silence trap him inside his head with his thoughts for a while.

 

   Karkat wondered if he was meant to leave or speak out. It made him nervous when Dave had nothing to say because he always did. There was always something. Except when he didn’t want to have a conversation about the problems they were currently facing.

 

   “Can I ask you something?” Karkat finally pushed through his shyness. Dave didn’t answer but he looked at him and he decided to take it as an invitation. He got a little closer to the bed but made sure to keep some distance. “I need you to be one hundred percent honest with me. No changing the subject and no bullshit. Is that okay?”

 

   A faint and tired smile. “Of course, snookums.”

 

   Karkat winced involuntarily.

 

   “Well, first of all. Don’t call me that ever again.” The tired smile gained some strength. “Second of all… I just want to know. Is this like… a personal thing? Are you not okay with us being intimate? Because I would completely understand that.”

 

   “No, it’s not about that.” and although he sounded resolved he seemed to review his words and then change his mind. “Well there’s something to it. But it’s more…”

 

   “Is it because of me?”

 

   Dave’s thought was interrupted and forgotten immediately. He stared into Karkat’s eyes, and with his expertise in Karkatian he didn’t need anything else to decipher the meaning of those words nor why he had felt the need to say them out loud.

 

   Dave’s look changed. His eyes displayed something similar to sadness. Probably guilt. He scooted closer and held Karkat’s hands with his own before looking at him again.

 

   “Hell no, babe. It is not you,” he assured, tightening his grip. “This shit is a lot more complicated than just… us being literally different fucking species. I’m not scared about whatever I could find inside your pants, believe me. I’m looking at the bigger picture here.”

 

   Karkat felt somehow relieved but knew he needed more information than just that. “And can I ask what this picture looks like, exactly?”

 

   “Scary, mostly.”

 

   Karkat didn’t have a reply for that, but his eyebrows raised more questions than his mouth could. Dave breathed in and exhaled slowly. He locked his gaze on their hands.

 

   “I know that we are really fucking close to the end of this ridiculously long trip, but the reality is, we still have to kill some time in here for a while,” he explained. “And I just don’t want you… us… to like, try getting frisky and shit in this place and then realizing we can’t make it work and just make everything uncomfortable and horrible for both of us for the rest of the trip, until we win the game and create a universe where we can ignore each other’s existences out of mere shame. Assuming we don’t fucking die trying to win on the first place, that is.”

 

   Karkat was stumped. For a second he thought he had listened to an impersonation of himself.

 

   “You have thought about this too much,” he said partly worried, but mostly amused. “I thought I was the overdramatic one.”

 

   “There’s room for more than just one overdramatic asshole in this relationship, don’t be greedy.”

 

   Karkat tried really hard not to, but he couldn’t help it. He laughed and Dave followed, the crude emotions that were morphing on his face dissipating like smoke.

 

   There was an exchange of smiles and then a kiss. Karkat squeezed Dave’s hands as he blushed a little.

 

   “If we can’t make it work the first time, we will the second time. Don’t worry about it.”

 

   Silence, a meaningful one. It was like a quiet conversation that only required their eyes and the hands they were holding. Karkat was sure Dave could read his mind like a weekly magazine, and he had gotten pretty good at reading his expressions back, even with his shades on.

 

   "And if not, maybe a third time, uh?" Dave suggested. Karkat bit back a nervous smile. "Y’know, just so we are one hundred percent sure and all. We don’t wanna risk it."

 

   "Yeah just to make sure,” he nodded as he scooted closer. Dave raised an eyebrow. “Or we can have several first times until we like one."

 

   The second eyebrow met the first one half through Dave’s forehead.

 

   “... Holy shit, I _really_ fucking love you.”

 

   Karkat laughed embarrassed and pulled him towards him to shut him up.

 

   He could immediately tell Dave was happy with the proposition and wasn’t planning on holding back, because the first thing he did after the kiss was to take off his shades and abandon them on the nightstand. He came back for another peck immediately after.

 

   To Karkat, it was both shocking and rewarding that they felt so comfortable with each other. It took some courage to get rid of clothes they had never removed before, but even once they were naked there wasn’t any reaction to it.

 

   Well, there was. But not the one he was expecting. Being completely exposed while in each other's arms felt organic and not-that-shocking at first sight.

 

   In fact, just the warmth of his naked skin against his own made him relax and stop caring about it. He could only think of Dave and on how much he loved everything about him. He’d look at him and his heart would pound aggressively in response. He loved his dark red eyes and his timid smile that were part of the secrets kept between the two, along with those kisses and embraces that would make him flail inside.

 

   Just like his favorite movies.

 

   And just like his favorite movies, they started off slow. Butterfly kisses flying from cheeks to lips to jawlines and necks. Fingers got lost in between strands of hair, and legs got tangled and untangled again and again.

 

   Karkat barely had any time to feel embarrassed. If he wasn’t squirming when Dave found ticklish sections of skin, he was licking his lips, or biting his own and closing his eyes, letting that sensation carry him away.

 

   There was more touching, sloppy kisses melting onto contrasting skin. Pleased sighs turned into anxious gasps. Dave’s hands were all over the place, like if he wanted to make sure every single millimeter of gray skin was covered by his fingerprints. Karkat was lying on his back, with his arms around him and his hands tracing circles on his back. Occasionally, touching a specific spot would make Dave tremble and complain, and sometimes even whimper weakly against his ear.

 

   And then there was grinding. Unconscious and automatic movements that required holding onto each other harder than expected to quiet down sounds they weren’t in control of.

 

   Karkat felt like he was starting to go crazy for sure. His body moved on his own. The sensations he was experiencing kept getting stronger and stronger, and his heels would push against the bedsheets and then go back some to do it again. His hips went up and down by themselves and he didn’t know why. He wasn’t reasoning at all. His extremities just seemed to know what was best for him and his own pleasure. What was closer, hotter, and better.

 

   Moans started to peak in between the shorter gasps. Hips speeded up and the kisses died completely when their mouths were incapable of meeting each other without noses and teeth crashing. Karkat felt his whole body burning, his senses abandoning him when they all melted into one single feeling of pleasure he couldn’t compare accurately. It was something completely different to anything they had experienced before.

 

   He called Dave’s name in a tremulous voice, but when he replied with a raspy and breathless “Yeah?” he had already forgotten what he wanted to say. He just kept on enjoying the sudden ease with which the body on top of him literally slid against his.

 

   There wasn’t any expectancy to orgasm, and yet the whole thing was so arousing to him that Karkat knew he would get to his climax eventually. And soon. Very fucking soon. It wasn’t just the way Dave felt against him. The smell his skin liberated was extasis by itself, and the sounds they were failing to repress were the sexiest shit he had ever heard.

 

   All the sex scenes in films seemed like a joke now. They were nothing like that. They did not, even for a second, portray how weird and amazing it actually was.

 

   His body started shaking, his nails clawed into skin and bedsheets desperately. The moment his toes curled and his body started getting rigid, Dave bit his shoulder and let go a low guttural groan. The rhythm of his movements increased. The idea of Karkat being close had turned him on so much that he seemed to move like if he was in a trance.

 

   Karkat arched his back and cursed in a loud moan that became silent halfway, even though he couldn’t close his mouth for the whole ten seconds that orgasm struck him. His body convulsed slightly at the tune of thinner and exhausted moans that followed in relief.

 

   The sole sight made Dave lose it. His movements became erratic and he held onto him like if his life depended on it, sending Karkat warm and electrifying waves of slowly-decreasing pleasure. Karkat held his face and kissed him hard. Dave bit his lips in response almost maliciously, but then a sharp and shaky cry escaped his mouth and forced him to let them go. His mind went blank as he grinded onto him three or two more times as slowly and hard as he could.

 

   His arms gave up on him and made him drop the few inches he was missing from lying on top of Karkat. And he gasped, loud and clear when he buried his nose into his neck. Karkat still had difficulty to breathe but he wrapped his arms around him.

 

   “That was so- ah… so fucking hot,” Dave said as if he was complaining. Karkat didn’t say anything but he was breathing through a big satisfied smile now. He knew. “What the fuck. What the actual fuck. Babe- hah... you turn me on too much, youalmostfuckingkillme.” He managed to lift his upper body enough to make eye contact. His hair was a mess. “Do you realize that? Are you ready to take responsibility for when we actually know what we are doing and you actually fucking murder me?”

 

   “You’re a god tier. Suck it up,” Karkat chuckled.

 

   “Fucking rude.”

 

   But Dave’s tone wasn’t angry nor offended. As his breathing calmed down he planted a series of tiny smooches through Karkat’s jawline and Karkat nuzzled his cheek in response. Dave wrapped his own arms around him too. They rolled on the bed to lie next to each other and slowly managed to get in a more comfortable position while still hugging.

 

   “So… was that the first time or should we go at it again?” Karkat inquired after a few minutes of post-aftermath exhaustion silence.

 

   “I think it was the first one after all…” Dave murmured already more asleep than awake. “The first first time. But wake me up for the second first time in twenty minutes.”

 

   Karkat smirked. He knew when he was about to pass out and sleep for seven hours straight.

 

   “Roger that.” He pulled the sheets and made sure to cover both of them before he went back to lie next to him.

 

   He really wanted them to try a couple more things, but he also wanted to enjoy the moment. He knew they could fuck all they wanted the next day anyway.

 

   But for now, he was just going to cuddle his boyfriend and sleep in his arms. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY SO I HAVE MANY THINGS TO SAY TODAY BEAR WITH ME PLEASE
> 
> 1) First time I write smut seriously AND publish it. I can't believe this.  
> I told you it was gonna be vanilla af but I feel like it still got a little steamy along the editing (whoops)
> 
> So. Realistically? I'm not sure their first time could have been that amazing. I said I was gonna try to fill in gaps and keep it as real as I could but I just really wanted to write a scene of them discovering sex with each other and feeling like they had died and gone to heaven cuz that's the best sex there is and my babies deserve all of it. 
> 
>  
> 
> 2) Next chapter is the final one of this fic (nnnooooo what!!) "The First Time I Saw Him Cry" is 99% finished because it was the first one I wrote for this fic, but I still gotta find the time to edit it and I'm not sure I will be able to until later in the week because I go back to school tomorrow and I also work :/ But next sunday for sure, I'll be here with the sap.
> 
>  
> 
> 3) By the way!!! I have another fic on queue that I've been writing for literally years and never had the guts to post it cuz it is a long one and it has slow-building. It's a fic about Dave being unhealthily in love with John and growing up and learning to love himself and then also Karkat. Some side pairings that might get their own mini fics and lots of extra pairings as background. Also tons of angst man. Shit.
> 
> Question: Would anyone be interested in reading a summary for it? I was planning on posting it with the last chapter for this fic, and then maybe even the link to the first chapter.
> 
>  
> 
> Lemme know what you think about this chapter and the summary proposition pls <3
> 
> And thank you again for reading and the comments and the kudos, I haven't written this much in YEARS and it's all because you keep my spirits up. I appreciate it like you have no idea. I've been having a blast writing this mini fic.
> 
> Anyway, I think I finally ran out of things to say, pheeeww!!
> 
> Have a nice day!
> 
> Ro


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well here it is.
> 
> If it feels a little weird it's probably because it was the first one I wrote for this fic, but chronologically it made sense to put it last. I wrote this when the final Homestuck update was about to happen but we didn't know what to expect.
> 
> Thank you very much for reading. I'm leaving a link to my new Davekat (that starts with sad JohnDave) at the end of the notes, in case you are still interested in reading my stuff. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy.

**The First Time I Saw Him Cry**

 

   It was dark. Very dark. Was it night time? There was too much noise for it to be night time. Or was there? Was that even noise he was hearing? It was more like a buzzing. A distant and constant buzzing. He couldn’t think, he couldn’t move, he couldn’t feel anything else. All there was for him to sense was that horrible sound.

 

   But then there was something else. A stronger vibration. A clearer one. It was suffocated and far away, but he could totally hear it. And after hearing it a third time, he could finally recognize it as a voice.

 

   “Karkat!”

 

   That was his name. Someone was calling him from somewhere in the distance.

 

   “Karkat, wake up! Wake up, dammit!”

 

   Was he in a dream bubble? Or was he dead?

 

   “Dave, calm down!”

 

   When the second voice joined it sounded like the buzzing was getting lighter and the voices kept getting stronger.

 

   “Don’t tell me to fucking calm down right now!”

 

   That’s when he could finally recognize the first voice. It was Dave’s. Or at least he thought it sounded like him. Something didn’t seem to be right. Karkat had never heard him like that. He sounded extremely distressed.

 

   “Come on, Dave! Just wait for Jane to get back and-” the voice he recognized as John’s stopped abruptly. “Look! He’s coming to! Karkat, are you okay?”

 

   “Karkat!!”

 

   “I heard you the first fucking time.” He grumbled barely opening his eyes. A blinding blue light made him immediately regret his decision and he closed them again, moaning displeased. He then started noticing the horrible pain that covered his body almost completely. He felt as if one hundred musclebeasts had just trampled him for several hours. “What. The. Fuck.” He clenched his jaw and groaned weakly.

 

   “Don’t move, Karkat. You are severely hurt.”

 

   “No fucking shit, Sherlock.”

 

   It was just then that his memories started to come back.

 

   He remembered waking up by himself in Echidna’s lair. He couldn’t recall how or why he had ended up there, but he knew his friends were already battling several enemies at the same time, and he had decided he wasn’t going stay back and watch. This was his one time to be relevant before it was all over. He had taken his sickle and ran outside in hopes of finding Lord English or at least one of the Jacks, but when he reached the lake in Jade’s planet the first thing he found was chaos.

 

   Hundreds and hundreds of green strange elfs were flooding the place while a tired and hurt Page of Hope was trying to battle them all. They seemed to be duplicating with every second, so Karkat didn’t even think it twice and jumped right in. He grabbed onto his sickle and started slashing the green enemies left and right.

 

   Regardless of how pointless his efforts of reducing the plague were, at least he felt good knowing he was putting out a fight. To him, It didn’t even matter that LE’s underlings were considered just an annoying distraction. He really felt as if he was finally contributing to his team in a meaningful way, even if it was only for a moment.

 

   And it truly was only for a moment.

 

   The following events, Karkat could only recall in chunks. He had just started chopping green leprechauns, when the biggest member of them all showed up. He was angry, aggressive, and ready to punch people out of reality itself. Being too busy to notice the sudden presence of that imminent danger, Karkat didn’t even see the punch coming. Soon enough, his helpless body was flying across Jade’s planet at a high speed, bouncing on the ground a couple times before finally encrusting itself against a small mountain. The impact had been so strong some rocks fell from the top and almost buried him completely under them.

 

   He tried to stay awake for as long as he could, but the amount of pain he was under and a particular concussion pounding on the back of his head made him feel dizzy and weak. He remained under the debris until the battle was over, when Jake had to remove the rocks in order to get him out of there, and then carry his unconscious body to the lilypad under skaia, where everyone else was meant to reunite.

 

   When Dave arrived to the lilypad himself, Jake was already there. His triumphant smile had been immediately erased the moment his feet touched ground and he saw him holding Karkat’s unconscious body. It took him a second to react, but soon he had left Dirk and Terezi’s side and ran towards Jake and John, who were talking about what had just transpired.

 

   “Jade’s John-looking grandpa, what the fuck!! What the fuck happened!?”

 

   “I’m… I’m not sure myself. I was in the middle of a battle when he showed up and-”

 

   “Why are you even carrying him princess-style?? He’s injured, put him down!!”

 

   “Oh. Right.”

 

   After a few seconds of recalling past events, everything slowly started making sense. Karkat opened his eyes as much as he could once again, and this time he recognized the bright blue light above them. His body was lying on the cold grey surface, and kneeling next to him was Dave.

 

   He looked like a red smudge for the first few seconds, but once Karkat’s eyes were able to focus correctly, everything stopped.

 

   He had been about to say something snarky, about Dave not understanding the simple concept of taking care of the wounded instead of yelling at them like an insensitive asshole, something about being dramatic and not letting his crushed body rest properly when it clearly needed it so desperately. But when he looked at him he was left speechless.

 

   Just to begin with, he was visibly hurt too. And although he didn’t seem to care about it, his glasses were cracked, his face was dirty with some sweat and blood, and his clothes seemed ragged and burned on the sides. He had clearly just come back from his own fight. But what really had left Karkat without anything to sass him with weren’t the battle wounds. It was the shaky human hands holding his shoulders as if they feared the alternian would disappear if he let go, and now also the thick and heavy tears rolling down his pale cheeks.

 

   “Dave, are you… are you hurt?” Was all he could utter. He was confused, but mostly he was just alarmed. He tried to sit down but it was impossible to do so.

 

   “Don’t. Don’t stand up. Jane is on her way. She’s going to heal you.” Dave was able to say with a tremulous voice. A second later, he closed his eyes and sobbed quietly. “Oh my god, Karkat. What the fuck. You scared me to death.”

 

   “I… I’m sorry?” He remained bewildered, but there was something growing rapidly in the pit of his stomach. “I was with Kanaya and I…”

 

   His apologies were cut short by a warm and wet face burying on his neck and a cold hand caressing his cheek. Dave had leaned over him, making sure not to rest his own weight on him by holding his body up with a forearm placed next to Karkat’s head. A tremor struck Dave’s body as he let another sob die in the form of a long but quiet sigh of relief.

 

   Karkat’s heart shrank painfully. Slowly, he managed to raise his hand enough to stroke the back of his head.

 

   “I’m sorry…” he repeated, this time in a whisper. He turned his head just enough to rest his cheek against Dave’s. His stomach felt now heavy with lead-like guilt. He knew he wasn’t meant to be in that fight on the first place. “I didn’t mean to scare you, Dave.”

 

   They remained like that for what it felt like half an hour, but was probably just a minute or two. Finally, Dave broke the strange embrace to look at him in the eyes. He wasn’t crying anymore, and although his cheeks were humid, relief was sparkling on his face.

 

   “Don’t you ever dare pull that shit on me again, you reckless idiot.” He said trying to dry his face with his sleeve. “I fucking love you too much to lose you over something stupid and meaningless like saving reality from several over-powered villains”, he added with a weak smile, not nearly as quietly as Karkat was expecting him to.

 

   They heard a gasp behind them but both refused to acknowledge it. They were aware that there were several people in their proximity, and their previous little show had been affectionate enough for some of them to exchange excited nudges here and there. But having Dave openly saying those things truly showed they had survived everything there was left to survive. And probably that he didn’t care about anything anymore.

 

   “Weren’t you… worried about telling your friends and all that…?” Was all Karkat could say, looking away from Dave and feeling his cheeks light up.

 

   “As if my Lois Lane-esque dramatic reaction to your apparently lifeless body hadn’t been enough for all of them to know.”

 

   “Uuugh. They’ll never let us forget this. You fucking know that, right?” Karkat growled in annoyance. But Dave didn’t seem to give a damn about whether their friends were discreetly keeping an eye on their every move or not. His eyelids felt heavy and his side-smile widened when Karkat’s eyes locked onto his again. “Dave, you look like an idiot with that face. Stop doing that for fuck’s sake.”

 

   Dave ignored him, taking his gray hand with his and bringing it towards his face to kiss it. Karkat felt a warm sensation creeping up from his hand, through his arm, to his body. His face turned red as he immediately tried to get his hand back from Dave. But it was futile. Dave was now holding that hand against his chest, squeezing it gently between his fingers as he kept on looking at him with the grossest enamored face Karkat had ever seen.

 

   “I’m going to fucking kill you if you don’t stop this right now.” He muttered in between his teeth. “I fucking swear. I’m going to rip off your intestines and strangle you with them. I’m going to push off of this fucking Lilypad and use you as a fucking human yoyo.”

 

   “Babe, no offence but none of your tantrums or amazing threatening skills are going to make me let go this troll hand now.”

 

   Karkat’s cheeks lighted up even more. He growled again and covered his face with his free hand. “If I weren’t in so much pain I would kick your shame globes out of my sight right here right now. Why are you doing this to me in public?” He spread his fingers just enough to get a glimpse of the still-annoyingly happy Strider looking at him and felt his heart squirming again. “Ugh how are you so disgustingly cute?”

 

   “That’s me. Disgustingly Cute Strider and Co.” He brushed off some hair out of Karkat’s face and made him remove his hand as well. “You are Co, by the way.”

 

   “Alright. See. This is the part where I tell you to shut your stupid trap once and for all and then I kiss you.” Karkat sighed, “Alas, I am like one of your useless human puppets you hate so much who can’t move or do anything at all. You’re going to have to help me here.”

 

   “Okay.”

 

   There was a small pause.

 

   “... What are you doing?” Karkat inquired, already predicting his simple request was about to turn into an infuriating ordeal.

 

   “I’m totally down to help you here, but I can’t do the whole thing by myself. It would look totally stupid.”

 

   “Dave. You have. NO right. determining what is too stupid and what isn’t. You are still holding my hand like a small wriggler with a safety blanket.” Dave passive aggressively squeezed his hand again and held it tighter against his chest in response. “And what the fuck am I supposed to do here if, as I already mentioned at least three times, I cannot fucking move?”

 

   “Don’t get so worked up about it, dude.” Dave chuckled, but then had to correct himself. “Wait nevermind. That’s an idiotic thing to say. You get worked up over everything.”

 

   “Dave, for fuck’s sake, will you just kiss me already??”

 

   “See, I’ve told you you gotta phrase your sentences better. You said you would tell me to shut up and kiss me, but you never actually TOLD me to shut up. You just insinuated I should kiss you because you couldn’t do it. I was being a sensitive fucking person here, just letting you say your part first so then I could chime in with a choice movie-like smooch. I thought you liked it when I let you have those full sap on sap exp-”

 

   “DAVE.”

 

   “Right. Sorry.”

 

   Without letting go of his hand, Dave placed his forearm next to Karkat’s head again so he could lean down easily and softly strike a kiss. It was tight and still for the first few seconds, and then he broke the contact just enough to speak up.

 

   “John you better put away whoever the fuck’s cellphone that is before I use my time powers to put it up your ass in all of the possible alternate timelines that had ever existed in this universe.”

 

  “Ugh, dammit! Sorry, Roxy”

 

   “Care to rate how  _my_ threatening skills are doing?” Dave asked Karkat, never breaking eye contact with him even during that small interruption.

 

   “Nine out of ten. Impeccable timing. Creative and insightful physical threat. Could have used more derogatory terms.” Karkat replied calmly, barely able to hide the beginning of a smile. “You're getting the hang of it.”

 

   Dave smiled proudly right before leaning down again and delivering a more appropriate kiss.

 

   Karkat almost couldn’t even feel the pain anymore. And he couldn’t care less about the people watching.

 

   They were finally there, at the end of their journey, alive somehow and too in love to give a shit.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you bunches. I did not expect the response I got for this fic. I am very grateful, I love you all.
> 
>  
> 
> Here's a little taste and link for my new soon-to-be-weekly-updaded fic "It Had To Be You"  
>  
> 
>  
> 
> _"... If someone asked Dave Strider what the worst thing that had ever happened to him was, his first answer would probably be "That one Halloween when Bro dressed me up as a hot dog" or maybe "When I bought the last ICP album because, shit, what the fuck was I thinking? And what the hell were Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope thinking? I mean, really? It’s so bad that I wouldn’t use it to wipe my ass. Fuck, it’s so bad I wouldn’t even use it to pick up my dog’s shit. And I don’t have a dog. But if I had one, rest assured, the sad bastard would be offended just by hearing me suggest picking up his shit with that awful thing."_
> 
>  
> 
> _(...)_
> 
>  
> 
> _But even though he always made his best to keep his stoic cool guy image retouched with that weird humor of his, the worst thing that had happened in his life continued to be a reality. A reality he tried to ignore. Oh, and he tried so hard. But that task was simply impossible for him. And he knew it, he knew it very well._
> 
>  
> 
> _Dave Strider was madly in love with his best friend, John Egbert._
> 
>  
> 
> _What? That’s all? What a scam, what a cliché! Couldn’t he find another less stupid reason to torment his youth? Alcoholism? Drugs? Acne???_
> 
>  
> 
> _No. Apparently, the Teenage Traumas Management had decided to grant him the most ridiculous and classic disaster from the repertoire: A pair of sweaty palms, butterflies inside his stomach, and temporary tachycardia whenever his best friend in the whole world appeared without a previous warning."_
> 
>    
> ( [ Link ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7899019/chapters/18043840%20) )


End file.
